LATE BREAKING NEWS *** LATE BREAKING NEWS
Dateline: Nation’s Capital
The stunning video released October 8th proving King David’s committed adultery with Bathsheba has once again brought bipartisan attention to the simmering conspiracy, that the King willfully and deliberately had Uriah the Hittite killed to cover his alleged infidelity.
House and Senate leaders who had supported David in the past have now openly switched their support to his son Absalom.
“King David can no longer be trusted to carry our party’s nomination and should resign” said House Speaker Saul ben Rion.
“I have always said we are better together” Prince Absalom told a gathering of reporters. “David wants to keep a wall around Jerusalem and I want to build a bridge for all people to share in our bounty”.
Prince Absalom went on to discuss his plans should the wise people of Israel choose him as king.
King David was unavailable for comment.